Please think Positive
I have been told this a lot, to stay positive. Even in my bleakest of moments, there was always at least one person who asked me to stay positive and that has always confused me. It confused me for so many reasons, one of which is that when I am greeted with terrible things, how do I maintain positivity? In the moments that are already too hard to process, how do I maintain a pragmatic outlook, hold a happy bubbly space for the future when even the present feels like a lot to handle. Even in the pandemic, I saw stories of social media influencers saying stuff about having an optimistic attitude with the most cliched Instagram quote ever, “ Positive Vibes Only”, well Linda, I have no vibes left with an actual pandemic happening and being in lockdown for so long. I mean all of this makes me feel like I am not doing enough to feel positive. Maybe it’s something I lack with no account of the crisis that the world is going through.
All this positivity and self-doubt made me google and wow, there is actually a term for this kind of unwanted positivism, “Toxic positivity”. According to Verywell Mind, “it is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset.”
This pandemic has been dire and difficult, incidents and events in my life had been sad and exhausting, whenever I have a fight with my friends, I feel bitter and heartbroken. All this is to say that we feel emotions, different kinds of them, and it is important to acknowledge these intricate feelings because they are our cues to what is happening with us, inside of us.
After all the struggle I went through trying to stay positive following Instagram influencers, I will not do that to myself anymore.
I feel sad today because my friend is going through a difficult time, and no, I am not going to try to stay positive, and neither would I tell my friend to be positive. Both of us are sad and we’ll sit through it.
“Positive Vibes only”, well, I welcome all the vibes into my life, and least to say, I have been growing beautifully as a person since, accepting my own inner self, my own emotions, and my own cues.